§3uh when will we get actual updates

§2Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the shop,

§3Not a creature was stirring, not even Goobop.

§2The brand new kitchen was furnished with care,

§3In hopes that St. James soon would be there.



§2The server was nestled all snug in their beds,

§3While visions of Lighticus danced in their heads.

§2And Gelato in his toque, who walked through the door,

§3Had just slipped and fell on the newly mopped floor.



§2When in the voice call there arose such a clatter,

§3A large metal pipe was just swung like a batter.

§2Away out the window I flew like a flash.

§3Tore open the shutters and shattered the glass.



§2I could’ve sworn that I’d been here before,

§3Once, or maybe twice, on the PGA tour.

§2There on the green, it appeared to my eyes,

§3The iconic Thanos-Copter, and eight little guys.



§2With a familiar face, so hard to perceive,

§3It was Video James, this I could not believe

§2More rapid than Foxxy his coursers they came, And he shitted, and farted, and called them by name!



§3“Now, Schleemo! Now, Teemo! Now, Robit and Rohit!

§2On, jingler! On, jangler! And the Christmas Spirit!

§3Up over the workshop! To the top of the board!

§2Now dash away! Dash away! Deliver this hoard!”



§3Note: The hoard contains several objects of splendor.

§2Like this majogȃny dresser, and a gently used blender

§3So up to the house-top the discorders they flew,

§2With the Copter of furniture, and St. James too.

§3And then, in a twinkling, and a hit from the boof,

§2Heard the baiting and beating of each little goof.

§3As I solved my wordle, and posted Lebron James,

§2Stepping from ultra-space arrived Video James.



§3His aura was lightning, filling the room,

§2And I shat my pants (Fruit of the Loom).

§3A new marble statue he had flung on his back,

§2Come straight from the Chisler, and his humble shack.



§3His eyes, they were static! His face was a blur!

§2He had that shit on, just like my GOAT, Rean Schwarzer!

§3His droll little mouth that appeared in my dreams,

§2Hmmm I feel kind of hungry. Also, God, I love memes.



§3Then through the door, did more friends arrive.

§2Doctor Sad, Professor Glad, they were alive?

§3And in through the window, came another guy be.

§2He cried really hard, “Pwease play Prop Hunt with me!”



§3I am getting so hungry, my tummy so grumbly,

§2Is there a delicious dessert, maybe flaky and crumbly?

§3I stole away to the kitchen, and to my surprise.

§2Met the mage of Modpacks, he was stealing some fries. 



§3Back in the foyer, St. James put in the werk.

§2Trained his cock then beat OFF, and he killed Charlie Kirk.

§3In the ruckus that followed I reached for a snack.

§2Please just one brownie bite, I need it like crack



§3Furniture Mage came down from the stairs that did squeak

§2“Get out of my house, I’m Jewish you freaks!”

§3And St. James fled to the roof in his copter most height:

§5“Happy Christmas to all, and no League of Legends tonight”!